She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
