do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
