sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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