im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
