I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
