Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
