Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
