when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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