Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
