you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
