in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize