morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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