Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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