she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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