at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
