Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
