I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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