....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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