I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
