Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Acid is not a monday night drug
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
