people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
