Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
