you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
