you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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