I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize