Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
