I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
