Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
