is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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