Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
