walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Just cropdusted the office
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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