Sry I called you an 8
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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