I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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