we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
