god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
