I can tuck mytits in my pants
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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