This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
if only i could text you this smell
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
