I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
