brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
