Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
