At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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