last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
