I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
