Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
