I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
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