I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
