At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
