Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
