i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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