So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
