if i died would you start the facebook group?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
