weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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