i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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