sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i think i have two assholes
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
FUCK WHALES
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
