After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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