hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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