he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
