Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
