I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
