if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
