question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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