I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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