whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I cannot find my penis.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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