I can tuck mytits in my pants
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
