I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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