OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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