Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
