C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i came on her dog
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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