Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We talked him into tasing himself.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
