I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
