I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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