garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
