i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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