She is in my trunk
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
