Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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