whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Randomize
