There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
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