One girl and one boy is just not enough.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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