i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You need a sexual gate keeper
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
