Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
