I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
