Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
