New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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